What’s all this talk about Mindset?

What’s all this talk about Mindset?

You’ve probably heard it too. Experts talk about it, preachers preach it and people know it: if you want to be successful, you need to change your mindset. Everybody knows that your mindset is crucial for succeeding in life and finding happiness.

 

But in most conversations about mindset, the main message doesn’t go beyond the commonplace platitudes that simply suggest you must stop thinking negative thoughts and think positive ones instead. Easier said than done, right?

 

The Problem with Mindset

 

First, nobody really tells you how to do that and second, we need to take a much broader view in our approach of mindset. It’s far more than merely eliminating negative thoughts and thinking positive ones.

That’s why I’ve always found myself resisting the mainstream talks on mindset. It’s more complex than that. In my blog posts Keys to Personal Transformation and Getting Rid of Toxic Thinking, I explained the power of subconscious mind and how it affects our thoughts, feelings and actions.

Instead of reducing mindset to either positive or negative thoughts, or to believing the right set of doctrines and truths, it is a lot more helpful to look at mindset from the perspective of human potential.

In this blog I will highlight the concept of a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset and how these affect our view of ourselves, our successes, and our personal and our spiritual lives!

 

IQ vs. Potential

 

I don’t know if you’ve ever done an IQ test. I haven’t. I’ve always bucked against it for fear the score would be lower than ‘awesome’, and that the result would influence my belief of what I could or couldn’t do in life. Of course, if my IQ would be sky-rocket high, I would think I could take on the whole world! But what if the score was average? I knew I didn’t want to be average in life and therefore I never did the IQ test. Period.


Without knowing, I instinctively did something right. Alfred Binet, the engineer of the modern IQ test, said himself that although intelligence can be measured, human potential cannot. This variable remains an unknown quantity. You cannot measure or predict human potential, it’s inexhaustible regardless of your IQ score. Good news!

 

No matter where you are at or what your starting point is in life, you can always grow. A growth mindset focuses on expanding one’s territory of knowledge, skill and ability. It taps into the potential to develop, to take on challenges and to advance in life.

 

On the contrary, the fixed mindset is rather focused on maintaining status quo. Why? Because it holds on to labels. You’ve probably heard people say, “That’s just the way I am, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Wrong. You can. But you cannot if you stay stuck in a fixed mindset and try to find excuses not to grow.

 

Identify Your Labels

 

The bad news is that we are mostly conditioned by a fixed mindset. It starts in early childhood education: we are labeled smart or stupid, gifted or average, intellectually brilliant or challenged. What we can and cannot do is assessed by results at a given moment and expressed in grades and rewards. Our assessment or rewarding systems celebrates the results. Pass or fail. They don’t look at the individual’s development, nor do they reward effort – key ingredients to success.


Results or labels, however, don’t say anything about human potential. Winston Churchill failed in elementary school and was labeled as mentally challenged in high school. Albert Einstein was an average student, Thomas Edison’s teacher said he was too stupid to learn anything. But they all reached great heights by developing a growth mindset, by tireless effort, and putting their minds to the task in front of them.


What you believe about yourself and your ability determines your success as well as your approach to life and to learning. Where you are today says nothing about where you can be tomorrow, in five years or in ten years. You will only stay the same if you stay caught in a fixed mindset.

 

What you can do:

 

Ask yourself: what labels have others put on me that I have adhered to? What labels have I put on myself? What is it that I truly believe about myself, my potential and what I can do in life?


In my next blog post I will explore more of the growth mindset, how you can develop it and how it can change your future. Stay tuned!

 

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!


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5 Action Steps to Accelerate in 2017

5 Action Steps to Accelerate in 2017

Have you made New Year’s resolutions and realized that it didn’t even make it to February before you already abandoned them? Well, you are not the only one. Research has shown that less than than 8% actually end up achieving their goals for the new year.

 

I actually stopped making new years resolutions years ago, simply because I knew I’d fail to keep them. It would only make me feel frustrated and bad about myself.

 

But something changed two years ago. Instead of New Year’s Resolutions I made some Life Resolutions: I created a vision board and wrote a detailed mission statement of what I really want my life to be like.

 

Since then, the way I live my life has changed drastically. In this blog I want to share 5 aspects that have helped me live with more purpose and achieve more goals in one year than mere new year/s resolutions have ever done before. Here is how you can accelarate in 2017:

 

Be specific

Whether you set goals for the year ahead or for your life, in order for it to materialize you need to be specific. Don’t just say, “I want to change in 2017” or “I want to be healthier.” That is too general.

 

Formulate your goals SMART: specific, measurable, ambitious, achievable and time-bound. For instance: “I want to be healthier by exercising 2 times a week, on Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings, for 45 Minutes in XY fitness club.” The more specific you are, the more able you will be to actualize the goal.

 

Next to that, begin with the end in mind. Do not try to merely do an adjustment on the behavioral level as many New Year’s Resolutions set out. Create a long-term vision for your life so that you can keep the bigger picture in mind when you want to drop the ball: why again did want to do this? The bigger why will give you sustained motivation.

 

Create Milestones:

Set long-term goals and break them down into short-term goals. For example, if you want to increase your fitness within a period of 6 months so that you can run a marathon, you need to break it down into daily action steps and weekly milestones to build up your physical strength and condition.

 

Once you reach a milestone you will get a boost, feel good about yourself and be motivated to follow through the next milestone.

 

The same principle is applicable for other areas in your life: if you want to improve a relationship, a skill, your physical or emotional health or if you want to have a more balanced lifestyle: you need to plan in how to reach that end goal and then start with small measurable action steps you pursue on a daily or weekly basis.

 

Be Accountable

Share your goals with friends or family and let them hold you accountable. Let them motivate you or encourage you when you have a hard time following through. Social support is critical.

 

Yes, it takes some personal courage and vulnerability to share something that you might actually fail at, but to increase your odds of success you’ll want support from those around you.

 

One of the most effective things you can do is to get an “accountability partner”, someone who checks in with you on a regular basis. It’s easy to break a promise to yourself, but far harder to admit it to a friend.

 

For other goals you might need a coach or mentor – make sure you get someone alongside you who has walked the walk and knows how to help you and encourage you on the way to reaching your goal.

 

Celebrate Progress

It’s important to celebrate victories and achievements of milestones! Most of us tend to look at the things we have not achieved yet, but if we do not learn to enjoy our small victories, we will not be satisfied with big ones either! Instead, we will lose motivation, joy and vision.

 

Celebrating victories is a habit of highly successful people. After giving out, you need to reward yourself and enjoy the achievement and progress. That does not have to be an excessive party – but the point is to live in the moment and recognize the progress! It cultivates gratitude.

 

Understand the Process

Progress is seldom linear. Some people will see rapid gains only to hit resistance later in their efforts. For others, initial progress may be painfully slow but then they suddenly see breakthroughs. Making lasting changes takes time. But the point is: you have to start somewhere.

 

And if you’ve dropped the ball, pick it up again. Don’t give up that easily.

 

If you want to know more in how to make 2017 a year of acceleration then sign up for my Jumpstart Your Dream in 2017 live webinar here.

 

 

Keys to Personal Transformation and Breakthrough

Keys to Personal Transformation and Breakthrough

In my last blog I shared an effective approach that helps to systematically break down negative thoughts and feelings and helps to build up positive ones based on truth. As a result, the neuronal paths in our brain change from withered dark tree patterns to healthy, vibrant neuronal trees. We can literally change the physical structure of our brain when we uproot unhealthy thought patterns and establish healthy new ones.

I also shared that neuroscience has found out that only 3 to 5 percent of our processing powers come from the conscious mind. The rest of it comes from our paradigms—deeply ingrained beliefs in our subconscious mind. And here is the dilemma: If you try to change your thoughts with positive thinking techniques and only focus on a cognitive level only, you will not experience real change, because consciously you might be thinking something new, but subconsciously your paradigm and deeply ingrained belief system is still controlling your results!

Some examples:

Everybody knows that smoking is bad for your health. Those who smoke know they should quit, a majority also has the desire to quit, most of them even know the actions they need to take in order to quit – and yet they don’t do it, or don’t manage. Why? There is an underlying subconscious cause why they smoke, and it usually as to do with numbing a specific area of emotional pain.

Or take a person among your acquaintances who always seems to end up with the ‘wrong partner’ or attracts the ‘wrong type of people’ or the ‘wrong job’. The majority of people don’t choose to do the wrong thing on purpose. But they end up with these undesirable results, because subconsciously an unresolved pattern is still active, which usually stem from experiences that have been buried or stored deep in our subconscious mind.

How the Brain Works

This has all to do with how the brain works and how it stores information and our experiences. Not only does our brain store the content or factual information of the experiences, but also the emotions attached to it – and these are stored in two different parts of the brain: the hippocampus and the amygdala.

The hippocampus is called the archive of our memories: it stores biographical, chronological and narrative information. Feelings and perceptions, along with the physiological reactions (heart rate, sweating, stomach cramp etc.) however, are stored in the amygdala.

The hippocampus is referred to as the “cool-system” and is active most of the time. The amygdala is labeled as the ‘hot’ system because it works like a fire department of our brain. It is an alarm system that gets activated when we are in dangerous and emotionally overwhelming situations. Adrenaline and cortisol is produced to create high alertness and prepare us for fight or flight responses.

When the “hot” alarm system of the amygdala is activated, the cognitive processing powers of the frontal lobe with the hippocampus are slowed down and temporarily deactivated, and our whole system is focused on escaping the dangerous situation that we feel threatened by.

How to explain Irrational Behavior

When this happens, data is directly stored in the subconscious mind and later on we often can only recall fragments or we may not be able recall the entire experience at all, let alone details of thoughts, emotions, feelings and perceptions.

Our feelings and physiological reaction are stored separately in the amygdala, and when the information coming in via our five senses is not processed by our conscious mind (frontal lobe system), it is fragmented and directly stored in the subconscious mind with the emotional load we experience in the given situation.

The problem though is this: the high emotional load can get activated by unrelated situations and experiences in the present when there is sufficient material that correlates with the original situation that caused us to get into the “emergency’ fight or flight mode – and we might only in part or not even at all remember this event or its details consciously.

When there is sufficient correlation in sound, smell, sight or touch in the present with the threatening experience in the past, the same physiological reaction can be triggered. That can be a simple as a combination of color and sound – the rest of the situation in the present is totally unrelated.

As a consequence, we could be overcome by a sudden feeling of panic, irritation, emotional pain or discomfort with no plausible cause in the present. Because we are in need of logical explanations of seemingly irrational feelings and behaviors we experience, we invent all kinds of explanations of what caused us to feel the emotions we have no explanation for: sudden panic, intense feeling of unease, fear, anger – you can name it.

Following the Smoke Trail

Unreasonable emotional reactions (which are physiological changes that occur in our body and that we ‘perceive’ as feelings) are like a smoke trail. The sudden mood change or state of emotion is just a smoke trail indicating that there is a fire going on elsewhere – and when you follow the smoke trail of the ‘hot system’ (the amygdala which stores feelings and physiology), the origin of the ‘real fire’ that caused the alarm system in our body to be activated will be released into the conscious mind.

Once the fragmented data comes to the surface, the conscious part of our brain can process the information properly and the emotional load of the original alarming situation is taken off.

Together with the emotions, deep ingrained convictions and belief systems are released via the amygdala, and once they are brought from the subconscious to the conscious mind, they lose their power and the mind can be renewed with the truth. But when they remain hidden, they remain active ‘under cover’ and hamper our progress.

If there are unhealthy certain patterns in your life that seem to repeat itself over and over again, it is an indication that you are driven by unresolved subconscious hidden drives. If present situations trigger an emotional response that is out of proportion to what actually just happened, it is a smoke trail indicating that there’s still a fire active in the subconscious mind which can consume your well-being, relationships, health and progress in life.

The following symptoms can be a sign for unresolved material you carry in your subconscious mind: sudden mood changes, fear, panic, depression, getting hurt easily, low self-image, burn-out, chronic fatigue, anger, irritability, persistent relationship conflicts. If you recognize any of these signs in your life and you want to eliminate the subconscious hidden drives, book your first coaching session for a discount of 50% here.

Breakthrough and Transforamtion

There is good news though: the subconscious hidden drives that are interfering with your life right now can be located and eliminated with a scientifically underscored technique that I apply in my personal transformation coaching.

This approach works form the inside out and is one of the most effective methods I know to deal with the negative emotional load that drive our belief system, decisions and behavioral patterns. Coaching session result in more freedom, more peace, more joy, more energy, improved health and improved relationships. I have tested and seen the in my own life: In 2011 I ended up in a burnout for 9 months and was incapable of working, and no counseling or therapy brought the change I needed. However, after I came across this appraoch and had a series of coachng sessions myself I was working full-time again within three months!

I am able to walk out my destiny and live my dreams, traveling all over the world, interviewing some of the greatest leaders of our time and publishing my book Dream Chasers: Overcoming Life’s Obstacles On Your Way To Your Destiny because I have dealt with the intertnal roadblocks that have hampered my progress.

Read some of the experiences other people have had with this approach here.

If you want to understand more of the science of the brain and how this unique approach works in detail you can purchase my video training “Unleashing Your Hidden Potential” for 50% discount here.

If you want to make 2017 a year of breakthrough and change, if you want to walk out more of your destiny, pursue your dreams and experience more freedom, one of the strongest assets you can invest in is your emotional wholeness and removing roadblocks from your past that inhibit your progress.

Make this year a year of transformation and breakthrough! Take the right steps many who have gone before you have tested and tried. Remember that your external reality can never exceed your internal reality. True success comes from the inside out, so focus on the right areas of growth in your life and the rest will align itself! Take the next step and book a personal transformation session for 50% discount here.

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Getting Rid of Toxic Thinking

Getting Rid of Toxic Thinking

 

MindsetHave you ever tried to get into somebody’s head? Well, don’t! It might look nasty in there, in particular if that person has negative or toxic thoughts. Did you know that thought patterns have a structure that look like trees in our brain? Thoughts cling to neurons, but when negative thoughts are formed and become part of our subconscious mind, the neuronal path looks like a dried out old prune, or like a dark, withered tree.

When I saw the literal image of the neurophysiological structure of a thought, and in particular of a toxic one, I was pretty shocked. No wonder I sometimes feel like a dried out old prune(click here to view image)! And let’s face it, we all have toxic thoughts and are so often confronted with our ‘stinking thinking’ – our negative internal self-talk and convictions.

Here’s the good news though: You can detox your brain and build new healthy neuronal structures by systematically tearing down unhealthy thought patterns and building up healthy thoughts! We actually have the power to change the physical structure of our brain, and as such, we can change our mental and physical condition by changing the way we think.

However, whenever motivational speakers started talking about ‘mindset’, changing your thought life, or renewing your mind, my hair would stand on end, because they’d always address the problem and tell you what needed to be changed – but not how it could be changed.

I’m going to share two approaches I have found really helpful in changing my thought patterns and systematically breaking down negative, toxic thinking. Today’s blog will focus on the first approach, which you can start applying right away. In my next blog I will share the second approach, which will focus on getting the deeply hidden subconscious convictions that inhibit our progress in life to the surface. Before I get to the first approach though, I will explain briefly where our thoughts come from and why they are so pivotal in determining the way our life.

3000 + Thoughts per Hour

Neuroscientists estimate that we have 50,0000 – 70,0000 thoughts per day, which comes down to 40-50 thoughts per minute. However, we are only aware of a fraction of these thoughts in our conscious minds. The majority of thoughts, feelings, and convictions are stored in our subconscious minds. And guess what: the decisions we make in daily life are based on thoughts and feelings that are activated in our subconscious minds.

Only about 3 to 5 percent of our processing powers come from the conscious mind. The rest of it comes from our deeply ingrained beliefs in our subconscious mind. And here is the dilemma: If you try to change your thoughts with positive thinking techniques and only focus on a cognitive level only, you will not experience real change – because consciously you might be thinking something new, but subconsciously your paradigm is still controlling your results!

The Brain Detox

One approach to deal with our deeply ingrained (negative) convictions, thoughts, and paradigms is the Brain Detox model by Dr. Caroline Leaf. What you do is this: Take a negative thought (for instance: I’m not good enough, If only…. I wish I had…), write it in the middle of an A4 paper and circle it in. Then create a mind-map around it: what feelings are associated with that thought? What memories come up? What other thoughts are related? What words come to mind?

Mind-mapping is a very effective tool for generating intense and focused thought processes. What I like about this mind-mapping approach is that it helps to actually get a whole thought pattern related to one thought on paper and you see what your thought looks like – and the structure looks like a tree with multiple branches of different associations, convictions, experiences and memories.

Second, it brings subconscious internal thoughts and conversations to the conscious mind. Sometimes you might just be experiencing a nagging negative feeling and you don’t know what is the real issue. Sit down and try to identify the feeling, pinpoint it as precisely as possible. It might be anger, fear, anxiety, worry – you name it. Put this in the middle of a piece of paper and branch out related thoughts, beliefs, memories, and feelings that are attached to that thought. This will take some effort and time, but while doing this you are already in the process of detoxing your brain.

When I did this with some of my own prevailing negative thoughts, feelings, and convictions, it was quite eye-opening. No wonder I felt so exhausted and at times like a dried out old prune if this is what is all going on in my subconscious brain – and all these feelings, memories, convictions and thoughts are attached to just this one initial ‘thought’.

Once you have mind-mapped and journaled out one specific thought pattern, take a break and then look at it again to identify common threads. The goal is to identify the lies in the thought pattern that you put on paper. Well, the next question is how can you can know what is a lie and what is the truth about this thought, because obviously lie that has been stored in your subconscious mind will feel true to you. Here is where what I do and what this approach suggests: take time to meditate and pray and ask God what the truth is about this thought pattern.

Integration vs Dissociation

The important part is that the truth needs to penetrate your heart = the mind, will and emotions – and not just to the intellect. Proverbs 16 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so he is.” Thoughts usually penetrate the heart when God speaks a word, impression, picture, or Scripture right to your heart. You have to know as well as feel the truth in you heart – not just try make declarations with your intellect.

You can only change the way you think and renew your mind in an integrated process, where your thoughts, feelings and convictions become one. Then declaring the truth becomes powerful and we can say to a mountain ‘ be moved and be cast into the sea’ and it shall be done. That’s when we speak and declare truth with authenticity and with authority, and that’s when our negative thought patterns are broken down and new, healthy ones are built up.

Many approaches focus on the mere cognitive level, emphasizing that you cannot be ruled by your emotions. While there is truth in it, an overemphasis on the mind vs. the emotions and making positive declarations has led to a dissociated mumbo-jumbo, which doesn’t bring lasting change to the heart. Positive declarations alone do not reach the thoughts, which are active in our subconscious mind and determine our decisions, behavior, and results.

Once you’ve identified the lies and countered that with truth, you need to look at this mind-map every day and oppose the lies with the truth you have received up to seven times a day. Within 21 days, the negative thought pattern is broken down and you will experience tangible change in that area of thinking. The main focus needs to be on the positive truths within these 21 days. Depending on how deeply ingrained the particular thought has been, another 21 days might be necessary to totally erase the negative thought. Another 21 days should focus in building up the positive, affirming, truthful thought pattern.

If you you would like more information or guidance in dealing with you can get Dr. Caroline Leaf’s 21 Brain Detox Program on an app. If you need would like more assistance in dealing with a particular area that has been inhibited by negative thoughts you can book a free consultation with me here.

I hope you find this information helpful and that you are going to tackle one of your negative thoughts by trying this approach. I’d love to hear your comments, experiences and thoughts!

 

The Power of Intentionality

The Power of Intentionality

In this week’s post I want to share a key that enables you to change your everyday life pretty much right away. I’ve witnessed this in my own life! It’s easy to implement and has great effect on how you feel about yourself and the mundane tasks you are facing each day. The key is living with intentionality.

Many people feel dissatisfied, overwhelmed or swallowed up by external circumstances and the demands of life, and one of the reasons why so many feel driven instead of steering their lives in a certain direction is that the majority of people don’t live intentionally. They live by the day. Les Brown nails it when he says that, “Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit. And the majority of people don’t aim at all.”

Living intentionally means that you are aware of your goals and values and that the choices you make each day are in alignment with your goals and values. This gives your life direction and purpose. Most people though feel lost and look to others for direction. They feel like Alice in Wonderland, who just wants to get out of where she is as quickly as possible without knowing where she really wants to go:
“Cheshire Puss,” Alice began, “…Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

When you know where you want to get, you won’t just take any path. Vision gives you focus and empowers you to live intentionally. Intentionality steers your life in the right direction. Lance Wallnau says, “Clarity is power. The clearer you are about your vision, the more power you have to manifest it.” Living intentionally means that you set goals and have each day contribute toward fulfilling your vision.

Changing the way you feel

Having the right focus and living intentionally helps you get rid of the daily grind and it brings purpose to your day. Mundane chores turn into meaningful chores when you do not only focus on what you want to achieve, but in who you want to become. Tony Robbins shares this priority from his own life and says: “I don’t just ask myself what I want, but who do I want to become…”

Intentionality is as much an attitude as an action. It is a proactive approach to life and it will change the way you feel about your present situation and about yourself.

This is what you can do to live each day with greater intentionality:

First, get clarity about your overall life-vision. What is the anticipated destination? What do you want to have done or achieved at the end of you life? Who do you want to be known for? Who do you want to be to your family – your spouse and children? Who do you want to be to your friends?

Once you know the bigger picture, the end goals for your relationships, career, finances etc. – you can break them down into short-term goals. Be practical. Make a list of different areas of your life with the long-term goals you have, then break it down into short term goals. For instance, if you long term goal is to be a good friend, what can you contribute this week toward reaching that end goal? Then plan in an action point that is a meaningful contribution toward achieving that goal.
You can make daily goals or do a week planning and each day schedule one action that contributes to a goal in a specific area of your life.

Your present circumstances might not be ideal or still feel far away from what you envision for your life, but breaking it down into simple daily action steps will change the way you feel about your life. By doing this, you increase the circle of influence. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t or what has not happened yet.

Taking action

In my interview with Bill Johnson he shared that the day after his father had died of pancreatic cancer he chose to intentionally get out of the house and pray for someone who had cancer. “I was very intentional in how I faced my day. Of course there is a place of rest and mourning – but when you get idle and passive, disappointment will automatically take over and you get offended at God,” Bill shared. “I looked for opportunities to minister – and I chose to focus on what God was doing instead of what he wasn’t doing.”

Most people wait for something to happen and for circumstances to change. Here is the misconception: life or circumstances won’t change magically one day. The supernatural invades the natural when we take practical steps. For my Dream Chasers book interviews I have approached many great spiritual leaders and I was particularly interested how they ‘do’ life with God. People like Heidi Baker and Bill Johnson are known for signs, wonders and miracles. God shows up and supernaturally intervenes through their ministry. But they don’t just sit there and roll their thumbs until something spectacular happens. They also don’t just pray. What I have observed is that all of them are extremely practical and proactive in their approach to life. Many people want something to happen, but they are not very specific and therefore they are not proactive.

Dr. Sandra Kennedy puts it this way: “Many people think they have a vision, but they don’t understand that vision has hands and feet to it. They have the idea that having a vision means to agree with it in their mind, but they don’t understand that you have to make it happen. 
You can almost compare it with the difference between hope and faith – between just agreeing with something and actually doing something. That’s a missing element for a lot of people.”

Living with intentionality will give you a sense of direction and accomplishment. It will bring meaning and purpose to each day as you focus on your values and vision and see even the small and mundane tasks as contributing to achieving the greater goal. With the leaders I have interviewed I have observed a very pragmatic approach in their spiritual lives – and then ‘things’ happen and God meets them. Successful people aim high and hit – and even when they “miss” they count it as learning experience on their way toward reaching their goal.

I want to encourage you to plan for each day of this coming week a specific action that contributes to the overall goal you have in different areas of your life. Experience for yourself the change it brings in how you feel about each day. Test it! It’s worth it!

For more details on how to experience a morea abundant life download my E-book “Seven Keys To Abundabnt Living”

And share your experience this week – leave a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Desmond Tutu’s most important life lesson

Today Desmond Tutu celebrates his 85th birthday! He has had a rich life and carries a wealth of experience and wisdom! Time to share one of his most important nuggets of wisdom! Watch this special video excerpt from my time with the ARCH where he answers the most important question I had! Officially, I was not allowed to film when I met Tutu last March, but we caught a brief moment when he was ‘unattended’….

What were the most important aspects in life that has helped you become the person you are today and what is one of the greatest lessons you have learned as a leader?

Desmond: It’s that I’m not inventing anything. There are those who were there before me and I’ve been very blessed with the mentors that I’ve had – people who’ve taught me how to be caring. When I was 13 or 14 I had Tuberculosis (TB) and I was hospitalized for nearly two years, and I had a priest who visited me every week. If he couldn’t, then he sent a member of his community to visit me. And I learned that – I didn’t know that I was learning – how you can make someone feel important.

Who were the most important mentors in your life?

Desmond: My mother and two priests. There are many things we don’t absorb cerebrally, we absorb in all other kinds of ways. We are influenced by people who touch us. My mother, she was an extraordinary human being. She was very gentle and very caring. I always say to people that I resemble her physically – she was very short and had a very large nose. I look much like her – especially my big nose which I have to put into everything (Tutu giggle) – and I pray that I can be like her, concerned for others.

I already mentioned the priest who visited me in hospital, but I could also speak about the first priest that I met. He was a black priest and we were young boys and so-called ‘servers’ at church, We would go out to rural areas and when we got there the priest was a big chief! The people would dance around him and give him all of their attention. After the service they would prepare a magnificent meal for him and drive out the children. I have never forgotten that that priest never sat down to his meal before he went out and checked on us and made sure we had food. I mean we were very much lesser mortals . When this is happening you are not aware that this is actually impressing itself on you. It’s only later when you do certain things and I was wondering “Why am I doing this?” and actually I am emulating t his priest– his way of caring. So none of us can ever claim we are self-made!

The importance of Mentorship
Mentorship is one of the most important aspects that shaped Tutu into the person he has become! Not all of us have mentors, and not all of us have good mentors. We often look to people like Desmond Tutu, Les Brown, Bill Johnson, Heidi Baker – you name it – and with we could have them as mentors. Well, you might not have direct access to them  – but I have developed a unique mentorship program with life lessons from all the expert interviews I have taken so you can know how you can become the best YOU.

I am launching a FREE webinar on the Dream Chasers mentorship program Friday, 14 october, 20.00 hours and Saturday, 15 October 15.00 Hours. You will learn about the different phases and stages successful leaders walk through in fulfilling their dreams, their destiny and getting to the next level.
Sign up for for the FREE webinar HERE